Once Upon the Brine

Life at Sea and Ashore in the
Canadian Navy during the Cold War
(1946-1989)

    William Hawke                                         

The Old Fleet Club was the mess for Leading Seaman and below at HMCS Stadacona in Halifax, Nova Scotia up until 1970. It was a rather long, single story wood frame building with two large halls at opposite ends separated by the main entrance lobby that also contained the men’s toilet and ladies powder room. The large hall at the southern end of the building was a barroom for members. The north hall was only used for periodic ship’s company dances, Sunday afternoon hootenannies and other social events such as wedding receptions of members.

The building had been there since before World War II and if the truth were known, it was a fire trap. It was torn down in 1970 and the Fleet Club was shifted to a newly constructed building nearby. For years after, old timers used to say that there was no better place than the Old Fleet Club for fun. They’d say that the new club, although housed in modern facilities, lacked the atmosphere of its predecessor.

The following story relates an incident that occurred at the Old Fleet Club in Year 1966 during one of the Sunday hootenannies.

Sunday hootenannies – booze ups really, with a live band for dancing – were very popular. They were held every Sunday afternoon and were open to all members. Single women were encouraged to attend. Some members also brought their wives or girlfriends. Hootenannies were great fun indeed.

One incident will go down in the annals of time as an example of fun and games that occurred at the Sunday hootenannies. To set the stage, it should be mentioned that the men’s toilet had been out of service due to repairs for a week before the following incident took place. Therefore, since women only frequented the club for special occasions and hootenannies, management commandeered the women’s toilet for the use of male members. They taped a paper ‘Gentlemen’ sign on the door. Repairs to the men’s toilet were completed on Saturday and the sign was removed from the door of the women’s toilet in time for the Sunday hootenanny on 16 October (1966).

Leading Seaman Loggie McLean – so named because he hailed from Loganville, New Brunswick – was attending the hootenanny that followed the reopening of the men’s toilet. He was sitting at a table with about six other guys and gals and had consumed about 8 pints of beer beyond the tipping point between sober sailor and drunken fool. In other words, he was as drunk as a skunk!

Midway through the afternoon a rumbling in his large intestine told Loggie that he needed to go to the men’s room. He got up from the table and staggered out of the hall and into the toilet. The trouble is that he walked straight into the women’s toilet, neither knowing that the men’s room was back in operation, nor noticing that the ‘Gentlemen’ sign had been removed. There were no women in the toilet to challenge him when he entered, therefore, he proceeded into one of the stalls, closed the door, pulled down his pants and sat down to complete his business.

Just when he got comfortable, two women entered the toilet. The first clue to Loggie was their giggling and conversation. That’s when he realized his mistake. But rather than utter some kind of a warning, he decided to ride the crisis out by remaining silent and hiding his feet that could be seen if one of them bent over to see if the stall was occupied. He therefore manoeuvred so that his feet were perched on top of the toilet with his knees tucked up to chin level; his pants remained at his ankles – a rather uncomfortable and precarious position. As an after thought he also reached out and quietly locked the door to the stall door.

Of course those women hadn’t just come to the powder room for facial maintenance and gossip. One tried the door of Loggie’s stall; noticing that it was locked, she opened the door to the adjacent stall and went in for a pee. At about the time that she lowered her panties and started peeing, Loggie lost his balance and fell to the floor. Then the fun began!

Both of the women started screaming. Loggie started howling apologies and explanations while trying to pull up his pants. When they started crying ‘PERVERT,’ Loggie started hurling insults. The duty mess manager and bouncers were alerted by the commotion and rushed inside to accost poor innocent Loggie. They wrestled him out into the lobby, and called the Shore Patrol (Military Police in new speak), who came and threw him into the clink over night.

On Monday morning Loggie was paraded in front of the Officer of the Day as a defaulter. After his explanation the good hearted officer was laughing so hard he dismissed all charges.  Loggie McLean, however, never did live down the incident. Forty years later old timers who knew him still relate the incident whenever his name comes up.